Promoting positive self image: the place to start is with you

Self image can effect many things in a child's life.  A negative self image can effect a child's self esteem, academics, and social life.  It is important as parents and care givers  to promote a positive self image for our young girls.  The first step is always talking with your child to see where they stand on their own self image and talking often, because self image can change multiple times in their lifetime.  Having an open communication system in which your child feels comfortable to come to you with any issues, doubts, or questions.  Being open minded and not criticising the child when they are communicating openly. It is also important to evaluate your own self image, because it is most important to lead by example.  If as a mother you are constantly fasting and dieting, most likely your child will follow the example and assume that your family doesn't fit the "ideal body image."  Some questions to ask yourself:

1. Are you dissatisfied with your shape, size, and weight? Do you talk about this?
2. Are you always on, or going on, a diet?
3. Do you express guilt when you eat certain foods?
4. Do you make negative comments about the way other people look?

My personal experience with my own girls is that they really want to talk to us parents.  My daughters are ages 2, 8, and 10 and just love to talk to me.  They get all giggly and gossip.  By me just listening I get a real feel for how they view themselves and how they believe their friends and classmates view them.  Becasue we all know that children highly value their peers opinions, even if they are bad opinions.  My ten year old is a social butterfly and gets along well with others.  She is tall for her age and thin with a love to run and talk.  She fits in well with others and feels that she does so as well.  My eight year old is a lot more reserved.  She is short and thin.  Less of a socail bug, she still feels the need to fit in although she struggles more with it because she is so quiet and soft spoken.  Both still have good self image and esteem, but that could change in a heart beat.  I attempt to be a positive influence by taking care of myself.  I exercise, attempt to eat healthy...and I do mean attempt because I am a sucker for sweets.  But we regularly have fruit and veggies in the house and monitor the junk snacks.  I dress for my body and I always make an attempt to point out girls and women of all shapes, sizes, color, and ages that dress nicely, are pretty, are smart, caring, loyal, honest, friendly, or any other positive aspect of a person.  I believe that self image isn't just about the body but who we are as a person, the whole person.  We value the mind and heart, which is something that Western media seems to forget.  I try to teach my kids to look at the person with in not just their outside, and I always try to do the same.

Tips for promoting a positive body image in your child
(source: aboutkidshealth.ca)

1. Place less emphasis on your child’s appearance and more on their abilities and skills.
2. Be a role model by accepting your body and maintaining a positive attitude towards food and exercise.
3. Make time for family meals and enjoy the time spent together.
4. Be mindful of the comments you make about your or other people’s bodies.
5. Encourage your child to think critically about messages and images they see and hear in the media.
6. Help your child understand that their body will change, especially throughout puberty.
7. Promote activities that make your child feel good about themselves and that don’t focus on their appearance.
8. Teach your child that it is OK to show emotions such as sadness, anger, and frustration.