Creative Communications: best way to know how your child views their self image

All parents want to communicate with their children in the best way possible.  But unfortunately most of us fall short of accomplishing such tasks without feeling like we are prying or getting no where.  In my own experience as a child it seemed like my parents would always just drill me with millions of questions and didn't seem like they really cared but were being nosey and if I didn't give them the answer they wanted a lecture could be next.  As an adult now and a mother, I now see that they meant well but still didn't accomplish much.  I hid most of what was important to me and how I felt about my relationships around me and how I felt about myself.  So I attempt to a different approach with my own children.  I am no professional, but perhaps these ideas can help others and I would love to hear others ideas and experiences as well.  As mothers, sometimes sharing these ideas and experiences can be the strongest voice we have, to be heard together rather than individually.

The more creative we get with communicating with our children, the less it feels like a chore to both sides of the conversation and the more willing the information comes out.  My daughters have recently started cheerleading for the first time in their lives and they love it.  I take the oppertunity of all the excitment after practice on the drive home to ask about how their days were and about their friends.  They start babbling on and on about different stories and giggle and feed off of each others stories.  I rather enjoy it.  It reminds me of when I was a little girl.  I try to do more listening than talking, only adding in when needed.  This last drive home from practice I found out that my oldest has a boy in her class that apparently smells like pee everyday.  Now whether that is true or not, I am not sure.  But she says many other kids don't like him because of this.  I took this oppertunity to let both my girls know that its not nice to tease or not like someone because of the way he smells, that sometimes people can not help this due to personnal body chemistry or family issues.  Of course my daughters say they don't and I believe them because we talk about these things often.  When I was in high school, I got the oppertunity to work with the special needs students and fell in love.  I have learned that you can never judge another person, because you never know their whole story.  Therefore, I attempt to pass this on to my own children. 

I have come up with some of my own ideas of creative communication and activities to open conversations.  I would love to hear some other ideas from others as well.

Creative Communications:

• Girls day out- Have a girls day out (or in) is always a good way to get the chatter going.  Going to get the nails done, hair, shopping, or even just lunch is always fun.  Sometimes girls find it easier to talk to mom without dad around, sometimes it just the fact that you are sharing something fun together that most girls love to do.  In this economy it is not always in the funds to do such an outing, so make a girls night in with  home-made facials, nail painting, girly movies, smoothies, ect.  Use your creativity.  Pinterest is full of ideas, use it to your advantage.
• Photoshoot- make your own home photoshoot.  Even as adults and big girls, we love dressing up in our best outfits and heels.  Play dress-up, take pictures of each other.  Be silly and have fun.  Then as you take pictures you can point out how pretty they are and how cute their pose is without them feeling like its just mom saying it.  Plus it helps you to see what they think is cute and pretty.  If they start coming up in unappropriate clothing, you now know you need to have another conversation about what is appropriate for their age.
• Walks-taking nightly walks is a great idea.  Not only is it good exercise, but the cell phones are put up and it leaves nothing but time to talk.  If your schedule isn't open to nightly walks, 2-3 days a week is better then nothing.  If you prefer bike rides, then do bike rides.  Just make sure to turn off cell phones and ipods.
• Joining a group together- There are many groups that mother and daughters can join together.  There are the girl scouts.  Me and my daughters have done it.  It wasn't right for us, but could be a good fit for others.  A self defense course is a terrific idea...I plan on doing this very soon.  Not only do we get to do something together, but will give me peace of mind that they know how to protect themselves.  Volunteering together is another idea I am hoping to do soon as well.  Nothing makes you feel better than knowing you have done something good to help someone or something in need.  Whether it be helping animals, homeless, or other children...it still fulfills the same feeling.  If you both enjoy art, take an art class.  There are so many options.  Ask your daughter what she would like to do and alternate taking turns on activities that interest both of you.
• Cooking- cooking a special meal together for the rest of the family not only teaches life skills, but leaves time for talking.  Or baking dessert.  My favorite I do every year with my kids is Christmas cookies.  We spend all day baking and decorating cookies and then we save some for us and distribute the rest to family, friends, and neighbors.  Its a great feeling to have them help and to see the appreciation from others.  They love it.

There are so many more things out there that you can do to have time for communication without it feeling forced.  I would love to hear others ideas.  Please feel free to share.